Everybody lies...

Wilson: It’s eight in the morning.
House: Coffee ice cream.
Wilson: No frittata, no bombolini?
House: I started thinking about what you said. About me obsessing. Started obsessing about obsessing. Decided to take a day off.
Wilson: You were enjoying cooking.
House: How like a man. To think that I enjoy slaving over a hot stove all day while you’re off banging secretaries.
Wilson: You said it was keeping your mind off the pain.
House: That was before I discovered The Biggest Loser marathon on cable. I like to pretend they can see me eating.

Dr. Cuddy: House paged.
Nick: Whoa, I would do her in a minute with fudge and a cherry on top. Would someone please explain to this woman? There’s only so many apologies —
Dr. Thirteen: He has frontal lobe disinhibition.
Nick: [to Cuddy] I’ve already embarrasssed myself with one doctor, whom I am at this moment imagining, with you in a king-sized bed, with a mirror on the ceiling. I am so, so sorry. But if I couldn’t have both of you together, you would definitely be my first choice.
Dr. Cuddy: Where’s House?
Nick: It’s like trying not to think of an elephant. Not that you’re an elephant. Your breasts, in fact, are all homo sapiens —
Dr. Foreman: House isn’t here.
Dr. Cuddy: Oh, he wouldn’t have paged me if he couldn’t watch and enjoy the—
[Cuddy peers into the control room. The light in the control room goes on and we can see House sitting there]

Lisa Edelstein feeding David Shore some cake at House’s 100th Episode Party.

Dr. House: You have a brain tumour.
Emo kid: You’re kidding, right?
Dr. House: If I was kidding, I’d be dressed like you.

fuckyeahhousemd:

Dr. House: [after Cuddy stops stripping in his dream] Dance woman!
Dr. Cuddy: You’d rather be diagnosing.
Dr. House: I screamed *no*!
Dr. Cuddy: And your own subconscious ignored you. Because you’d rather fantasize about symptoms. How screwed up is that?

 Just a few episodes away from the end of the third season…